Sunday, March 21, 2010

unhappiness is......

If you look back on the last few years of this blog, you wont be able to see very much “un-happiness.”

In fact, you’d have to dig pretty deep to even find a hint of it.

As many of you have asked me “why don’t you blog anymore”?….. I find myself asking the same question.
Maybe it’s because I’m afraid to blog when I’m not happy.

I found myself randomly “googling” the term “dependent” – as in “co-dependent” or “dependent personality” – wondering what the REAL Wikipedia definition said. If I only knew how to “add to” a Wikipedia page…….

  • You’re so attached to him that he is almost a part of you- so your stomach aches and you can’t breathe when he’s not there.
  • When he’s gone you are overly sensitive to anything someone says to you, because all you can think about is him anyway, and in fact, to be blunt, you don’t really care what they are talking about.
  • When he’s gone, you look at your children and think, “how in the world am I suppose to be the ONLY parent? I can barely take care of myself all by myself…”
  • When he’s gone the dog looks at you as if to say – “you’re all I get? Where IS HE?” And why can’t dogs just understand what you say back to them? “Daddy is gone for the week, and we are sleeping without him!!!”
  • When he’s gone your eyes are mostly swollen every day, and you’ve given up make-up. Make-up is way over rated anyway, I guess.
  • When he’s gone everybody says things like “let me know if you need any help” but, all you really want is for your best friend to come home.
  • When he’s gone people talk to you and you feel like you are stuck in a humongous tunnel, and they are looking right at you but you can’t hear what they are saying to you, because all you can hear is him on the other end of the tunnel telling you that it will be ok, but you can’t get to the other end of the tunnel because it’s too far away.
  • When he’s gone you wake up every day and think “maybe I was dreaming?” and then you reach out and realize you weren’t.
This is just a little picture of why I can’t blog.
Un-happiness just doesn’t make a great mind-set for a writer.