Sunday, March 21, 2010

unhappiness is......

If you look back on the last few years of this blog, you wont be able to see very much “un-happiness.”

In fact, you’d have to dig pretty deep to even find a hint of it.

As many of you have asked me “why don’t you blog anymore”?….. I find myself asking the same question.
Maybe it’s because I’m afraid to blog when I’m not happy.

I found myself randomly “googling” the term “dependent” – as in “co-dependent” or “dependent personality” – wondering what the REAL Wikipedia definition said. If I only knew how to “add to” a Wikipedia page…….

  • You’re so attached to him that he is almost a part of you- so your stomach aches and you can’t breathe when he’s not there.
  • When he’s gone you are overly sensitive to anything someone says to you, because all you can think about is him anyway, and in fact, to be blunt, you don’t really care what they are talking about.
  • When he’s gone, you look at your children and think, “how in the world am I suppose to be the ONLY parent? I can barely take care of myself all by myself…”
  • When he’s gone the dog looks at you as if to say – “you’re all I get? Where IS HE?” And why can’t dogs just understand what you say back to them? “Daddy is gone for the week, and we are sleeping without him!!!”
  • When he’s gone your eyes are mostly swollen every day, and you’ve given up make-up. Make-up is way over rated anyway, I guess.
  • When he’s gone everybody says things like “let me know if you need any help” but, all you really want is for your best friend to come home.
  • When he’s gone people talk to you and you feel like you are stuck in a humongous tunnel, and they are looking right at you but you can’t hear what they are saying to you, because all you can hear is him on the other end of the tunnel telling you that it will be ok, but you can’t get to the other end of the tunnel because it’s too far away.
  • When he’s gone you wake up every day and think “maybe I was dreaming?” and then you reach out and realize you weren’t.
This is just a little picture of why I can’t blog.
Un-happiness just doesn’t make a great mind-set for a writer.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Sixteen years feels like a week

But, when did she get so big?

But, when did she stop needing diapers?

But, when did her pudgy wrists disappear?

But, when did she stop wearing those little footy pajamas?

But, when did she stop needing a bottle in the middle of the night?

But, when did she stop carrying that silky little blanket around?

But, when did she start going to high-school? When did boys start coming over to my house to see her? When did she start interviewing for jobs? When did she learn to drive?

Sixteen years feels like a week.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Baby Girl.
We love you always,
Mom and Dad

Friday, March 5, 2010

FLASHBACK Friday - Daddy

It was June of 1995, and I believe the year and a half that proceeded that night had been understandably the most trying time of our lives. Kaitlyn wore a pretty little dress, and daddy wore a cap and gown. We sat in the LC Walker Arena awaiting the big event; I recall that Kaitlyn wiggled & squiggled, as a high-school graduation ceremony wasn't a typical place for a 1-year old.

I think the principal's exact words were, "Daniel, don't be doing anything crazy, your diploma isn't really in that holder yet...." As most of you know, he is the perfect picture of "class clown", so the adults on that stage were fairly nervous about what he may have had stuffed up his sleeve. Although he entertained MANY ideas (after all he wouldn't want to let anyone down), we were both extremely excited about his final decision.

As the big moment approached, Grandma carried Kaitlyn down to the floor level, and waited for Dan's row to walk up. Right before he walked up the stairs to the stage, she slipped Katie over the short wall into her daddy's arms.

His arms were plenty big enough
to carry
a diploma
a rose
and the love of his life.

Although he was 17, he was plenty old enough to be the best daddy anyone could ever ask for.

Thank you, God
for blessing me
for the past 16 years,
as my children have never needed anything
that their Daddy couldn't give them.